Conquer Your Doubts

@RedMountainSpa

By Cindy Clemens,
Life Coach

Doubts are the mind games that we play based on our distorted views of the world. Our thoughts, rather than our emotions, are the favorite location for doubts. Do you recognize any of these self-doubts and negative thoughts?

• There is not enough for everyone - I need to cling to my few crumbs.


• I am not good enough.


• I am not lovable, especially if people knew the real me.


• I am not attractive.


• The world is a dark, cruel place —I can't take risks.


• I will get hurt if I get close to people and open myself up to them

Strategies for Conquering Your Doubts: These can actually be more difficult to manage than your fears because you may not even realize what they are. Unlike fears, which you feel in your body and know when they are trying to take hold, your doubts may be so much a part of your world view that you can't see past them. You need to be able to step outside the box, question your views and beliefs about how the world works and decide which are serving you well and which are not.

1. Inventory Your Beliefs: This means you will need to be at least a little bit open-minded and willing to look at your mental framework. Many people are quite reluctant to undertake this type of belief inventory. They would rather let their lives continue to go nowhere instead of rocking the boat. Or, they would rather let other people dictate what they should believe rather than explore what makes sense for themselves. This type of apathetic thinking may seem safe and secure, but it leads to a life lacking in authenticity and meaning.
   
   To get started, use this exercise, which I call "The Failure Story." Think of a goal you would really like to reach in the next six months. If you are unable to reach that goal, what story will you tell yourself, about yourself? That you are lazy, unable to follow through on commitments, too busy to take good care of yourself, not worthy of good things? These stories will shed light on the beliefs that are at the root of your doubts.


2. Are Your Beliefs Serving You Well?: Once you have identified the beliefs you hold about yourself and the world around you, ask yourself whether those thought patterns have served you well so far in your life.
   • Have they allowed you to move confidently in the direction of your dreams or have they held you back?
   
   
   • Do they make you willing to trust yourself and others or do they produce doubt and insecurity?
   
   
   • What life choices have you made based on your mental framework? Are those the life choices you really want to keep making?
   
   
3. Does Your Belief Have to Be True For You?: If you decide that your beliefs are leading you to doubt yourself and your potential, consider whether a particular belief has to be true for you.
   • What is the origin of this belief? Is it written in stone or can it be modified?
   
   
   • What would happen if you altered this thought process?
   
   
   • What do other people believe about the same concept?
   
   
   • What does the concrete evidence in your life tell you about what is actually true for you?
   
   You may be surprised to learn how much your doubts and negative belief systems are disconnected from reality.


4. Try On a New Belief and See What Happens: I encourage you to try on a new belief and see what happens. As you make an honest effort to reshape your thought processes, you will be presented with amazing examples of evidence to support and encourage you in this endeavor. And, as the evidence piles up, your new belief will grow stronger and stronger and overshadow the lingering doubts that pop up from time to time.